To Glenn With Love

Today is my day of thanks to a man named Glenn Berglund. We met thirteen years ago in a shady, semi gay bar in Missoula here called Am Vets. Yes, that does stand for American Veterans in case your were wondering. I was kind of at a crossroads, just getting into photography, not sure where I would want to go with it and was heavily considering a move to Seattle. I was down at this Am-Vets bar one spring night in May, just hanging out having a drink when Glenn first approached me. He wasn’t my type at all and I must admit I was a bit fearful of talking to him, when the first thing he said was that he didn’t drink anymore because he had a couple of DUI’s. I remember thinking wow, this is not someone I want to get involved with at all and got out of there as quick as possible. A couple of nights later I went back and he approached me again. I have to preface this with: I was working on a workshop for a gay men’s retreat about dating I was going off to present in the morning. I had come up with this concept of helping gay men break through their fears of meeting by showing them skills so they could meet and be able to communicate, thus building a grater sense of self-esteem. It seems living in Montana and being gay; one the barriers we have had to overcome is our ability to communicate and date. The process began with making a list of who I was and what I really liked about myself, subjects to begin a conversation on; it’s always best to talk about things you know something about. 2nd make a list of what you want; what realistically are you looking for in someone else. This gives you a motivation to communicate. And finally make a list of what you are willing to compromise on. The more I began to test my theory on Glenn, the more I began to see he was exactly what I was looking for. Though he was the opposite of me and we didn’t have any of the same passions, the core of who we were matched. I have always dated people that were the same as me, thought this is was the way life should be and really didn’t look beyond this. But in the past that never really worked out so well. The previous relationship ended in disaster, because it became too much of a competition, not for me but others and I felt like I was constantly being hijacked and sabotaged which become very painful. So I began to see this guy, Glenn, in a whole new light. We ended up hitting it off and talked for a couple of hours. Finally I had to go, because I had to get up early to go to this retreat. We kissed in the middle of the room and it was almost like the world just stopped. It truly was one of the most magical moments of my life. I gave him my phone number and said I was booked up with projects for the next couple of weeks, because when I got back from the retreat I was stage-managing a show with the actress Andie McDowell and would become consumed with the project and would be done on a Sunday several weeks off. Skip forward a couple of weeks, that Sunday, Glenn calls and asks if I want to go out for something to eat. We met for pizza, our connection was instantaneous again and we have been together ever since.

I have to say this has been one of the most challenging relationships I have ever had. It’s difficult to be with someone who doesn’t really understand who you are or get you most of the time. Glenn ended up quitting his job many years back and going back to school in another city and hasn’t been there for the major events in my life, but we are still the same at the core. We constantly challenge each other and show each other new things; I learned to love football and he musical theatre. He is the practical side of my creativity and seems to always keep me grounded. But most of all he sees me though all my manifestations, moods, insecurities and still allows me to uncompromisingly grow, explore myself, and become uniquely me.

4 thoughts on “To Glenn With Love

  1. Paul Bujak

    >I've heard this story a number of times, and I always enjoy it. Having known you two for so long, watching and listening to your ups and downs, I have to say that you give me hope. I'm proud you are my friends, and I love and miss you so much. Here's to another thirteen years.

  2. Glenn

    >Eat your heart out folks, he's all mine! Thanks Terry for a wonderful 13 years and I'm looking forward to many many more. I love you very much.

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